Tuesday, February 27, 2007
i don't understand the meaning of a blog lock. i don't understand why people lock their blogs. i mean, the whole damn fucked up idea of a blog is to let what you're thinking out, to let all the emotions that you've been hiding inside for so long out. no one should really care who should read it. what's the point then? might as well go click microsoft word and type it all out there or something. what idoicy is portrayed by the acts of some. it confuses me. or maybe it's something so intellectual that i cannot and am unable to connect with. pfft. anyways, im bored stiff right here. i have absolutely no idea why i'm home. there's nothing else for me to do. and the people who have asked me out, i don't know.. not that i don't want to head out with ya'll but i've sort of become an introvert for now. i just have many unsettling and persistant thoughts which will probably cause a spoil in the moods. ughs. its the philosophy book! it must be! with all the quotes for life etc. so why am i a killer for it?. damn! just questioning too. why are there so many expectations set for us by the society we live in? i mean, who set the rules? who made it the norm? who sets the expectations? why must we live by that? why can't we be free to live how we want to be? does climbing up the social ladder mean thinking, and doing things like the majority? also, really; what is so great about clubbing? what's so fun about spending money on cover charges and drinks, inhaling second hand smoke and reaching home dead tired smelling like fuck due to the damned smoke, being groped around by guys trying to hump their way through and obstructing the way you dance.? probably the only thrill you get is the music, if its good. and the dj, if its DJ TANG or ANDREW CHOW. (: and if the guy you're dancing with happens to complement your moves. but other than that explain to me? what fun do you get out of it? perhaps the ways guys are leering at you, or the way you like to feel so good that someone, some guy wants to dance with you.. i find the most acceptable reason being the ability to hide from one's true nature, putting on a mask and seeing how pathetic the vast majority of the population is. sometimes to the extent, you sometimes wish you were them too. but then again, isn't that self-loathing? or being unable to accept how one is so different from everyone else? i do wish i got someone to talk to. not like a shrink. but someone who understands where i'm coming from and can offer me some other view point in conjunction to mine. 'Sometimes i speak to men and women just as a little girl speaks to her doll. She knows, of course, that the doll does not understand her, but she creates for herself the joy of communication through a pleasant and conscious self-deception.' --Schopenhauer
- everything's just temporary;
11:15 AM
